My cousin Bea sent me the photo on the left today. I found it striking how much it is similar to a much older photo of my grandparents as newlyweds. In one photo they’re dressed in casual clothes. I’m not too sure of the occasion and need to ask my dad a little more about it. Was it taken before Grandpa left to work in the US? Were they in Salamanca? How did they meet?

I can’t ask Grandpa or Grandma these questions. That isn’t right. I can go to Calvary Cemetery in East LA off of 3rd Street to the place where they are buried together. I’m afraid my questions will go unanswered.

I can ask those still living about the photos, my dad, mom, aunts and uncles here or in Mexico. They would have all said the same thing, Grandpa would have done anything for Grandma. I saw this myself. She was a finicky person, often in unpredictable moods, but Grandpa loved her unconditionally. When she got sick with diabetes complications, lost a lost of weight and was unable to use her legs, he carried her in and out of the van. And Grandpa was Grandma’s everything too. A few months before she passed away she sat at my cousin Martin’s wedding thinking that it was sad that Grandpa could not see one of his grandson’s get married.

Some of my questions can be answered in the photos themselves taken about 45 years years apart from each other. They seem so calm, collected and somewhat stoic in these phots. Grandma is looking off in the older one. I don’t know at what. Grandpa looks upset, but he often looked like that, often not smiling even when he was content. In the photo at my tía Nellie’s wedding in 1988 they’re in the same pose, still linked together many years later. I assume this photo was taken after the ceremony. I do remember that.

I was a flower girl in my tía Nellie’s wedding and distinctively recall wondering why Grandpa was wearing dark shades as he walked his daughter down the aisle and throughout the ceremony. I figured it out later when I saw him pull out his handerkchief and wipe away a tear. That was the only time I ever saw him shed a tear, but apparently it was something common for the weddings of his children.

And now, I’m crying as I read an old email my dad sent me after noticing a photo of his parents from their 50th wedding anniversary on the desktop at our home computer.

hi cindy. it was really cool to see grandpa and grandma on the screen as i was walking past the computer. i asked the chunks how it had gotten on there and they said you had done it. i’m not surprised that mama toni and papa chepe liked it and she is probably already thinking, what about us? thanks for taking the time to put mom and dad on the screen, it keeps their memory
fresh in our minds.

not a day goes by that i don’t think about them and what they went through, such as the day dad called your tio john and myself privately into their bedroom and asked us to support him on his and mom’s decision to put your tio rick by himself on title of their home even though they sensed that there might be some disagreements among our sisters. it was very hard for him to do this and i can remember just like it was yesterday how strong he tried to be with all his physical and emotional pain as his already weak voice cracked even more as he stated his request and begged us to respectfully take everyone’s opinion into consideration and agree to the one which made most sense when involving any of their posessions.

see dad knew in his heart that the time was getting closer for him to go to heaven and when he asked your tio john and i to sing at his bedside “pescador de hombres” at the hospital i knew that god was already speaking to him and he was answering “señor, me has mirado a los ojos, sonriendo has dicho mi nombre, en la arena he dejado mi barca, junto a ti… buscare otro mar”. this was the last song that he semi-conciously asked us to sing for him.

in looking at mom i remember those sunday evenings that i spent with here seeing how happy she was to see me no matter how her day was going always asking “¿cómo está luz, danny, cindy, lori, chonchís?” always showing concern especially for you since she knew that you were away at school. oh how grandma loved all her grand children, though she rarely showed it emotionally she was always so proud of everyone and would give anything to see her grandkids happy and successful, i guess that’s what grandmoms do huh?

one of the things that stands out the most about her is that when she was able to, she loved going shopping with grandpa and put stuff on layaway for whoever’s birthday or special occasion was coming up and the joy and satisfaction she received from giving. yes, i am thankful for the times i did’t feel like being there but still made the effort and to share in some of her moments
like taking her out to lunch or breakfast, just her and i. those were special moments, she was always so proud to introduce us to the waiters and waitresses “este es mijo or esta es mija” and she would always add something like “es el mayor y más guapo.” just kidding, but you could see the gleam in her eyes and felt how good she felt to be accompanied, it made her feel so special and she was.

well cindy you see, what you created brings back alot of memories tears as i write thinking of all the things we always want to do to make others happy and proud especially our loved ones and i guess it doesn’t take that much really, just a willingness to see the good in other’s intentions. i love you because you make us feel very special. thank you.

have a great day!
dad

Grandpa passed away on December 28, 1996 after a short battle with renal cancer. Grandma died rather suddenly on January 12, 2000.