It happened without wanting it to happen. That’s the way it happened. What is it? Everything.
All the drama of the last few months just happened without me even plotting or planning it. I don’t think anyone did.
Fue sin querer queriendo, that when Isa told me Ome, the ex-roomie, was coming to the apartment in a few minutes, I wanted to leave. Isa wouldn’t let me. She said if I was uncomfortable, I shouldn’t have to leave my own apartment. I stayed in my dim room with the blinds drawn ignoring a lovely autumn day while I watched Gilmore Girls season four on DVD. Isa and her boyfriend cleared off the entertainment center to prepare it for Ome to pick up. They didn’t have to remove the television because the most recent ex-roomie, Pato, took it with her (along with the honey) a few days when she moved her things out.
Isa and her boyfriend removed figurines of Jackie Robinson, Don Quixote y Sancho Panza, and a tall, slender indigenous woman dressed in a pink dress. A frame holding a picture of the original four roomies was tossed aside. In it, Pato, me, Ome and Vane face the camera with varying degrees of cheesy smiles. We’re close, our arms are linked around each other. I remember taking that picture after a my birthday dinner at the Olive Garden in Westwood. A few days later, we all started moving our things into apartment 3. We stayed like that for two years, and then the moves started. First, Vane who left for school in Berkeley and then Ome who returned to live at her parent’s home. Now, the four women in the picture are hardly ever together, and probably won’t be for a long time. The photo and frame was ignored, just as we all push to the back of our minds that the once strong relationships between those four Chicanas has now unraveled and broken through our own action/inaction and lack of communication.
Ome came with her new roommate to pick up the entertainment center she left last year when she moved out. They loaded it into the truck and made small talk with Isa and her boyfriend. I stayed in my room too embarassed, resentful and hurt to leave.
When I walked out into the living room, I found a strange and empty space. The prints of famous paintings and other decorations are gone. There’s a big empty space where Ome’s entertainment center was before. It can be symbolic. Or not.
hay, pues si, como dijo el chavo del 8, fue sin querer queriendo. sorry about that. it happened to me too, i had some good friends (all girls) and after living in the same house for a year, ya, we didn’t see or talk to each other anymore. sadly, this happens twice to two different set of girl friends. (i lived with girls all through my undergrad. funny? the good thing is that i had my own bathroom as girls didn’t want to share with me. por que sera?) thanks for sharing. remember, there’s always tequila =)
Chesperito is a genius. Have you seen this?
Sorry about the friend drama, lord knows, my group has been through plenty of it. Somehow, eventually, we always make it through though. There is one thing that I think has helped: we all left our stuff (records, TV, furniture, etc.) at the house we used to live in together. That house has turned into a sort of temple in our minds and by now, the things we bought for it belong more to the house than they do to us. I have a feeling Ome will be back one day. And I’ve actually got my hand in the chis.
Hi, I noticed you posted something recently about radio stations not being so great. I just wanted to post a link to a brilliant very radical station http://www.kpfk.org
canto tropical
cosmic barrio
travel tips for aztlan
and many more excellent programs including ones in indigenous latin american languages like maya.
Fue “sin querer, queriendo” pero me suena como un “perdoname” lo que haz escrito.
I’m so sorry…
Pero no te desanimes!
Each person is constantly changing (growing, finding themself)-
it doesn’t mean that you have lost that friend forever…
Next time when you see Ome, yes it will be different, but the cariño will still be there. You can still be friends, maybe not as “intimate”, but still friends.
Cuidate!
Replace gradually feelings of loss w. acceptance, and always look @ the bright side (you may make other friends, you learn how to let go).
Brenda,
Well, thanks for listening through the earlier part of this. You were like one of two people I could talk to about this stuff.
Agustin,
Heh, I haven’t lived with any guys beside my brothers. I think I like it that way. I might take a shot of tequila, but it would probably hit me too hard. I have a horribly low tolerance lately.
Oso,
What does “hand in the chis” mean? I don’t know if she’ll be back and if it will be anytime soon. I guess the thing that links my crew together is that we still all have the same friends. Even if I’m not cool with someone, another person will be. It’s hard to escape everyone too because we’ve known each other such a long time. I hope this does end though.
I did see Matthias’ review and that’s what triggered this, sorta.
lo,
I listen to KPFK, but mainly it’s when I’m in the car of the guy I’m dating. Other times, I’m just listening to my CDs. Thanks for the suggestions though. I didn’t know about those individual shows.
Hector,
I guess it can be read that way too.
Coco,
You’re right. I think we have to realize that people change, sometimes for the good and sometimes for the bad.
Frances,
You know, you give good advice.
Oh, Cindy, amigita, this is called growing up. The things you’re used to seeing everyday all of a sudden become only a fixed image that diminishes with time, very much like that photograph of your amigas. Amigas por siempre (perhaps) pero, las cosas cambian, people change, and times change and although you may feel as empty as that space where that enterainment center once stood, there will be other things (people, friends, roommates, amistades) that take their place and you’ll learn to make amends.
It reminds me of one of my favorite Julieta Venegas’ songs, “Oleada”:
Y todo lo que ya viví /lo sigo cargando. / Lo llevo muy dentro de mí / nunca lo he olvidado, / lo siento tan cerca de aquí, / lo llevo muy dentro de mí.
Be strong, amiga.
Life has a way of pulling people apart and as time passes by the gap gets bigger and bigger. I have friends who live 10 minutes away but it feels as though they’re on the other side of the globe.
But at the same time I know they’d be there for me if I needed something, and vice-versa. Hopefully things will work ou way for your group friends.
I had a friend who used to always say either “give me the cheese” or “dame el chis.” I assume chis refers to chisme. Having a “hand in the chis” means some sort of knowledge or background of the said chisme.
EMC,
I thank you for reminding me of Julieta.
EMC,
I know this is all part of growing up, but there are certain things that are not natural. The reason I’m not talking to Ome is because of something I did that upset her.
Like Oso, I feel that being reminded of Julieta is never a bad thing. That song was on the rotation a lot when I was considering where I was going to grad school (I thought I was going to go to Michigan) and how much that would totally change my life.
Joel,
I still have some very tight relationships, but it’s sad that I might have lost one of my closest friends. It really sucks.
Oso,
That’s right. I wonder why you think we’ll actually still be friends sometime in the future. You do know the chisme which makes this whole thing a lot different and clearer.
Cindy-lu:
I can’t tell you that I don’t feel the same way. All of the things going on on our lives, especially mine, remind me that I still have sisters in other places, though. This also makes me think about all of the times we’ve gotten together even after moving out and had the same kind of random and heartwarming conversations that we had when we lived together…almost as though we picked up where we left off.
I don’t know if this makes sense, but let me know. If anything, I know, and so should you, that regardless of where we are in the world, we can always count on having someone pick us up from the airport or giving us a place to crash
).
Happy Saturday sister.