Fertile cousins and jealousy
I call their generation, los bisnietos. By now my cousins on both my maternal and paternal sides have their own families. The first, Marieica, was born when I was about 5 years old. The youngest, Andrea and Jocelyn, are 4 and 2 months old. From my count — which is probably off by one — I have 27 nieces and nephews, and surely there are more on the way. I have about three dozen cousins who are old enough to have kids (or already have a few). I’m one of those, but I feel like I’ve fallen behind.
I love playing with those kids, my nieces and nephews. I get them at the good times. They’re happy, not too whiny, they don’t poop and spit up on me. It’s good. But then my cousins — their mom and dad — take them away to their homes in some far off corner of Southern California. I begin to miss the bebes and know that I won’t see the child until he’s gone up another size to 18 months or the next mandatory family event comes up, whichever comes first.
I return to my empty, messy apartment and find my books, laptop and stuffed monkey. I ignore the discomfort of pregnancy and sleep deprivation of early motherhood and keep wishing for my very own itty bitty baby.
I suppose this is all selfish. It’s like when my cousins had the newest video game console or a 10-speed bike, except now I don’t want their flashy toys. I want to have the same living, breathing, shitting brown babies they have. I want older aunts and uncles to coo over my little one and try to figure out if she looks more like me or her daddy.
“N’ombre, she’s got Cindy’s big lips,” says my tía Martha.
My madrina Chilo shakes her head, “sí, pero, mira, que prieta está la niña. Tiene el color de su papá, no está tan blanca como Cindy.”
Possibly the best part would just be the way babies attack your senses. I love their smell (well, when it doesn’t involve shit), soft sighs as they sleep and the way they wrap all five of their chubby fingers around my right index finger. I can even handle all the noise they make.
Damn fertile cousins and their super-cute offspring.
Cindyluv, cuando quieras, I could help you solve this problem, no mas dime.
Just imagine, the little one will have your beauty, my skin color, a nack and ease with anything math and engineering related, and a strong love of Mexico and our culture (which way the writing skills will go – either your great writing skills or my messed up writing skills – only God knows).
But oh wait, there is one catch, the little one will have a strong distaste for liberals. LOL.
Aww,the baby is absolutely adorable. Im in big trouble when I have my own someday. I get nervous even carrying them =/
Hey!!! Be careful!!! I started thinking like you and talking like you and the next thing you know – BAM- I got pregnant! Just like that!
Babies are great. I do love holding them and touching their skin and marveling how amazing a new life is. You just have to be ready for it…
I’ve said this once, and I’ll say it again. . .cute only goes so far. I was just like you a couple of months back. Picking Demacrasia and Panfilo names for my future kids from the Doctor Husband I have YET to meet. . .then my Prima moved in with her 3 year old little girl and has been at the house for 2 months now . . .and she drives me nuts.
But she is cute. . .
no? But believe me, cute only goes so far. And then they get annoying. Especially when they talk. Her favorite thing to say, “No-me Tia Caya. No!
awem my pix post didnt work. . eh. . here’s the link!
http://www.flickr.com/photos/cadelagarza/56634051/in/set-1191121/
btw, the feeling subsides. . .maybe it’s b/c of the holidays. We all get melancholy around this time of year.
ja! your honesty is amusing. i’m sure your babies will be as cute as you and the daddy. meanwhile, you can enjoy your primo’s children without having to sacrifice all the free time you have, weekends, etc.
Growing up in the Diaz family, I didn’t really look like anyone, until I lost weight people started to tell me I look more like my brothers–pues, of course, I’m flaco now, just like them.
It’s interesting to me how our Mexican-American culture focuses a lot on the likeness of kin. For example, the lip thing or even eyebrows or the nalgas (oh, those come from your mother’s side…) or my big white teeth, which I didn’t start showing until a few years ago, always making gestos and never wanting to open my boca.
Then I realized, hey, why should I be ashamed of my teeth, when they’re much nicer and better than most people!
Have I ever told you that you have a very beautiful family?
I heard this from someone and it always sums it up best for me:
I LOVE babies, just other people’s babies tho”
No tomes “ansias”! Todo a su tiempo…you are still very young.
Un fuerte y caluroso abrazo.
Cuidate!
The whole graduate education thing and children seem to be mutually exclusive phenomena for many people. I don’t think they have to be, but it would be hard to juggle both. As for the “oh you’re still young crowd” I think it’s B.S. I think mid to late 20′s is the best time to have kids and even as a man (yeah I know I can have them in my 80′s) I regret not already starting a family. At this rate, my kids (which I do not have yet) will be graduating high school and I will be thinking about retirement. I don’t want to end up like some viejito chasing my toddlers in their walkers while I am reaching for mine. My sister has two children (one she had at 26 the other at 29) and I don’t care how many pinchi degrees I have, she has accomplished a million times more with her two little angelitas. It’s all about familia in my book.
HP,
Thanks for the offer, but I’ll pass. My kid has to like liberals, or else she/he is really going to annoy me, my friends and a lot of my family members.
Normies,
I can see how you’d get nervous carrying around a newborn or other small baby. I try to make sure one of the parents is nearby so I can easily pass on the kid if I don’t feel like holding him or her.
Kelly,
Eek! Don’t scare me, mujer. Readiness is important, and right now I’m still learning about all the things I need to do to take care of myself.
CAD,
Your niece makes me think of the Ramon Ayala song “Vestida de color de rosa”. That was my favorite when I was a little girl. And yeah, I know sometimes they do get annoying.
Tin,
What I really want is for one of my siblings to get either get knocked up or knock someone up. Heh. For now though, I don’t mind babying our puppy and playing with the nieces and nephews.
EMC,
Thanks, but I really didn’t have anything to do with making my family beautiful. They do that on their own.
My teeth are one of my favorite parts of me. Strange, no. I get told now that I look like my mom, but that’s only when I’m in Mexico. I think I’m probably the kid who looks most like a mix between my parents. The brothers look like my dad and my sister looks like my dad’s sister. I’m the oddball.
Jeff,
Be careful with those Mexicanas. I hear they just want itty bitty babies.
Coco,
But, but, but I already have canas! I’m not that young.
El Grito,
I wonder what’s more work, a dissertation or having a baby and caring for it. Nevermind, I know the answer. On another note, I have a lot of respect for student parents (especially the ones with infants).
Yeah, I’d stay away from that HP if I were you
ha! that was a great read. I see myself having kids, sure. not any time soon or anything, pero mas alla… algun dia!
What a cute little baby! It’s always fun to wonder what your kids will look like or act like. It sounds like you have a lot of fun with your nieces and nephews. Disfrutalos y apapachalos mucho!