I’ve been reading a lot about immigration from Mexico. It’s all very macro or “big picture.” There are no stories of individuals. It’s just numbers and policy and public opinion. Sure, it’s useful (especially for the paper I should be working on right now), but I would be missing out on the whole picture regarding immigration if that was all I considered.
The best lesson about immigration was the experience of spending a few weeks with my father’s side of the family in Guanajuato last year. Below is a piece I wrote just after returning from a day-trip to visit my Tía Abuela Jesús in Morelia.
Life altering experiences
August 24, 2004I feel emotionally drained.
When I said that this trip could possibly be life altering, I really didn’t know how. On the way to Guanajuato from Mazatlán, I had this weird feeling in my stomach.
Today, I started to cry as my tía Jesús started talking about my Grandpa Bartolo, her big brother with such reverence. It shouldn’t surprise me that someone would love a sibling so much, but it just overwhelmed me. After awhile, I couldn’t even look up because the tears were coming and I didn’t want my aunts and uncles to get concerned.
On the way back from Morelia, a big city in Michoacán about an hour and half away from Salamanca, I figured it out.
I pretend to know all sorts of things about immigration and my family, but the truth is that I didn’t know much, especially from my father’s side of the family.
As a kid, I never realized how emigrating to another country really disrupts things. Even as an adult, I took for granted that my immediate/nuclear family was all in LA and almost of all of my extended family on both sides was in LA and Southern California. I didn’t know that there was such a thing as second cousins and that my parents had cousins and aunts who loved them as much as my own primos hermanos and tíos y tías love me.
So, I cried because I felt cheated, and I feel like my father was even more cheated. I wonder what it was like to live in LA when all his uncles and cousins lived in Guanajuato. And I feel sad that I probably won’t get to see all these really wonderful second cousins, aunts, uncles, and tía abuelas (great aunts) for years.
I really do know myself better.
I’ve seen the factory where my Grandpa used to work. I know that my thick lips come from the M (Grandpa) side of the family, and I know that my love of music and love of learning are distinct B (Grandma) side of the family characteristics.
I don’t know why it took me so long to make this trip. What was wrong with me?
At least I’m going back in two weeks. And now, back to finals.
goodluck with finals. And i envy you so much for being able to go back to mexico!! Aver cuando me toca ir a mexico! hehe
Check out a documentary I made about the Border between the US & Mexico as a college student @ UC San Diego.
speaking of mexico.
here it is.
http://zulmaaguiar.com/movies/CalexicoBorder-4.rm
Zulma
I know the feeling all to well Cindy. My apa is the only one from his family down here in Dallas. I have a couple of tia’s that live here (my mom’s cousins) and one of my apa’s cousins lives here too, but all of my immediate family is in South Texas close to the border or in Mexico.
I’m the oldest grandchild, so my cousins on both sides are all younger. You know what’s still to this day hard for me, not having the big family gatherings for a baby shower or someone’s birthday. They have them up there, but it’s expensive to even consider going up each time someone has a birthday. Sure I get to enjoy the important holiday’s with them. . .and when we don’t, my tiny family of four and I try to make the best of what we have here, with each other.
But even though I miss out on a lot with my family, the opportunities that I have due to my father and mother coming to Texas are endless. I have had so many doors open for me it’s unbelievable. I’m amazed at their courage to succeed in foreign land. . I couldn’t even imagine trying to do that myself. I love that I’m not ni de aquí, ni de allá but from somewhere in-between. It has made life an interesting ride and spectacular journey.
Nice documentary. It reminds me of a series of classes i took at UCR my freshman year on the Borderlands. Those classes had to be hands down the most eye opening, fascinating and favorite classes of my college career.
What class was your documentary for??
What a trip. I remember that post like it just a couple months ago. Damn, I just noticed that I had actually commented on it. Check it out:
Weird. I doubt that I’d ever write that these days.
I read through a lot of that Pew Hispanic Center report today too. It’s amazing that the way we discuss immigration hasn’t changed one bit.
Cindylu – Thanks so much for reintroducing this entry. I read it and some of the comments to my Spanish for Spanish Speakers 1 students and asked them to write a diario: Como es ser “ni de aqui ni de alla” – las ventajas y desventajas de ser bicultural/bilingue” They’ve already written some great stuff about visits to their own relatives and we just read a bit of “Sonar en cuabano”, so I’m eager to read their thoughts.
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