On January 5, 1957, Mamá Toni gave birth to her seventh child, María de la Luz. She was the third María de/del she had given birth to by that point. Yet despite the commonality of her first name — which is now her middle name — there was nothing about my mom that was common.

She doesn’t even get a cold like most people. Instead, she got acute bronchitis when we were in Mexico. Even if she was on her way to getting sick, she still managed to liven up the party. (Sidenote: my younger brother, Adrian, asked, “what does acute mean aside aside from the fact that it’s less than 90 degrees?”)

I wrote this list over three years ago, but it still captures so many of the wonderful qualities about the women I’m lucky to call Mom (Italics = new stuff).

1. Stories. She has loads of hilarious tales about her childhood, my grandparents and her crazy teen years. By this point I can recite them myself, but its much better to hear them from her. She had my cousin Valerie begging for more stories during the long roadtrips from Ontario, CA to Jeréz, Zacatecas and to/from Jeréz to Salamanca, Guanajuato.

2. Involvement. Mom has continuously used the little free time she had to volunteer at school and church events. She was the PTA president for some time at my elementary school and she always helped out with the booster club for band.

3. Resolve. Mom is the opposite of a pushover. If she says she is going to do something, there is no way in hell that you’re going to stop her. She’ll tell you what she thinks even if it’s going to hurt your little feelings. She stands up for herself. She’s not the “traditional Mexican woman” who is supposed to be meek, subservient to the macho male, and only stays home to take care of her kids.

4. Faith. Some might not consider faith and religion to be too important, but it’s probably the main thing that has kept my family and my parents together over the years. I think Mom inherited her faith from her mother and she’s tried to instill it into her children too.

5. Creativity and talent. Mom surprises me sometimes with the things and ideas she comes up with. As kids we (siblings + me) always had the best Halloween costumes because my mom took the time to sit at her sewing machine or to find some cool material to make the costume. She even took a drawing class for a semester at a local community college. She’s like a kid in a candy store when she’s in a fabric store or a crafts store. I still make sure to save the Michael’s coupons for her.

6. Patience. So, maybe she’s not too patient with her own kids, but she does a very good job with other peoples’ kids. She’s worked as a teacher’s aide for kindergarten, third grade, and pre-k special education class rooms. Currently working with autistic children has probably done a lot for her patience.

7. Cooking. This woman can throw a feast! Her dream home has to have a huge kitchen. It’s pretty sad that I still barely know how to cook a lot of the dishes I always helped her out with.

8. Hostess skills. I think my mom makes excuses to have parties or get-togethers. Either way, they always turn out wonderful, even if on a shoestring budget.

9. Encouragement. Whatever we’ve been interested in doing throughout our lives, whether it be playing soccer or doing Aztec dance, she’s supported 122% with love, her talent, and resources.

10. Social consciousness. I think growing up in East LA in the late ’60s and ’70s would be good for showing you the need to give back and make a change in your community. My parents taught me to give of myself because I was so lucky from a very young age. As immigrants too, they also do all they can to support the rights of Latino immigrants and the Chicano/Latino community in general. My mom dressed me up in a Mexican skirt in first grade on Mexican Independence Day. I was kind of confused, but at least she never let me forget where I came from. She made me proud to be a Chicana.

11. Giving. She gives all that she can, what more can I say?

12. Beauty. Sometimes I just stare at her wedding picture and admire my own mother’s beauty. Lori and I had to get our looks from somewhere, right?

13. Attitude. Some people think que es creída, or stuck up. I think it’s just the way she carries herself. When she walks into a room, people notice. I love her attitude. I noticed that in the rancho with my dad’s family, my mom was pretty much the only woman (of her age) joining in the festivities. I noticed she’s not afraid of what other people think of her, and when I was a kid this embarassed the hell out of me, but now I’m trying to learn from her.

14. Sense of humor and youthfulness. She can play practical jokes and tell “fibs” like the best of them. Once she started a food fight at a slumber party I had when I turned 12. I love to hear her laugh. My tío Armando in Salamanca calls her Lucifer, this should tell you something about her mischievousness… no wonder my dad’s hair is almost all gray.

15. Love. It’s unconditional. Mom tells us constantly that she loves us. She babies us as if we were still toddlers and not teens or twenty-something’s.

¡Feliz cumpleaños, Mom!