The truth is, you are a phenomenal person and I’m just average.
Those words still make me smile. They still take my breath away even though the man who said them is hardly a part of my life and the pain I felt after our break up has long since faded. It was horrible. I moped. I cried. I got angry. I felt lonely. I was distracted at work and when driving. I even got in a car accident. I didn’t foresee how I could go from feeling shattered to feeling okay. I made it through. I forgave and moved on.
Since then, I’ve felt that pain again… rather recently in fact.
Thinking about that pain, breakups and moving on reminded me of a line from Sandra Cisneros’ Caramelo. When I first read the novel four years ago, I jotted down my favorite quotes. I searched for that list of quotes because I wanted these words:
Like they say, one nail drives out another… Yes, and the second bullet dulls the pain of the first.
As violent and pessimistic as these words seem, I still find them oddly reassuring.
God, that book made no sense to me. I should read it again; I might like it more now.
But yeah, I feel you on this… There will be another. Just time…
un clavo saca al otro… my mom always says that but i never heard it in english before. i think it loses something in the translation but it’s true in either language. have you ever done a post on ‘dichos’ – i think that would be a great topic for you to cover!
I get the same feeling when listening to “Esa Noche” by Cafe Tacuba. This like surreal pessimistic realism that reassures you…iono. Oh and if you get the chance, look up the book “Dichos y Dicharrachos” by Jose Perez.
Oh that’s a good quote. Hey Cindy lu, you have a great smilie … it makes me want to smile! =)
I’m glad you mentioned Caramelo. I need to get over my book ADD and finish it. I started it over a year ago and put it down to go on a Kurt Vonnegut binge and haven’t picked it back up since.
That’s a great quote though…even though it’s pretty pessimistic. As much as it sucks, there will always be new pain–that’s life. When that new pain comes along, everything that was so soul-searing before becomes but a dull ache in the background.
Thanks for this entry. I’m experiencing my own, much more superficial, version of this. I’ll get over it, but in the meantime I’m mired in frustration trying to figure things out.
Try listening to this a song called “Captain Badass” by Songs: Ohia. It made me smile today while I was on my run. It’s about how we make mistakes (in terms of relationships), but we only have one life to live and mistakes are okay and to not regret it.
“There is something else that pulls them to rise above their pettiness, that allows them to repair and resurrect their love.” bell hooks & Amalia Mesa-Baines, Homegrown: Engaged Cultural Criticism, 2006
My personal belief about life is that you can’t know what good is, unless you experience bad. Having said that, we all have our moments were we feel like the end of the world is about to come and we want to crawl up in a hole and put our heads down.
I often find that remembering the bad motivates me to do better and never get to that place again. It keeps me sane (for lack of a better word) and headed in a positive direction.
I hope whatever sad feelings have come about only motivate you towards something positive. If not, look in the mirror and see that amazing smile of yours. I know it always makes me want to smile each time I see it.
Diego,
I don’t know if you have much time for reading for fun these days, but it might make more sense now.
Letty,
I first heard the saying in Spanish. For a while, my friends and I would refer to my latest crush as a new “clavo.” I’ve never done a post on dichos, but it’s definitely on the list, maybe as a question of the week.
Raul,
Thanks for the suggestion. “Esa noche” doesn’t make me feel optimistic at all…
Pedro,
Gracias.
AJ,
If anything, we grow from that pain. And yeah, finish Caramelo!
Amy,
I’ll look up the song. I try not to have regrets, because it seems like a wasted emotion in most instances, but they still creep up.
Lo,
Thanks for the quote. What was the context of it?
Jeff,
You’re right.