The bet

I don’t remember exactly when we came up with the bet. I might have been talking about walking down the aisle.

“You’re totally going to cry when you see me.”

He disagreed.

I argued again. “Nope, I won’t cry. It’ll mess up my makeup!”

Again, he shook his head thinking he wouldn’t need to use the handkerchief in his pocket all day unless it was to dab away sweat.

Since we’re both a bit competitive, we decided to bet on it. The winner gets bragging rights and something else to be decided.

The rules:
Tears caught when we’re getting ready (e.g. reading a note) don’t count
We must both be present

The outlook:
Sean thinks he has an edge being a guy and all. Plus, he knows I get emotional rather easily (see: Toy Story 3) and am not afraid to show tears in public. The site of our wedding is particularly meaningful to me as I grew up in the church ( sorta) and will be surrounded by people I’ve known my entire life, many whom attended my parents’ wedding 35 years ago. I also have to contend with my parents. If they cry — and they will, I know it — I’ll lose it.

Then there’s music, my emotional weakness. There are songs I can’t get through without crying. The music director/organist suggested one of those songs (“Pescador de Hombres”) for Communion during the Mass. I vetoed it immediately. I love the song, but I associate it with Grandpa Bartolo’s passing. A few months after he died, my dad told me Grandpa requested the song on his deathbed. Dad and my tío Johnny sang it for him. I’m blinking back tears as I write this. See!

I can control the tears if it’s about vanity (messing up my makeup) or I have greater concerns. I did it during the final miles of my first LA Marathon. I remembered my sister’s words when I got emotional thinking of my uncle and grandparents. I knew tears and a runny nose would affect my breathing, slow me down and be an unnecessary distraction. If I concentrate on my makeup and the bet I can win.

I told him to leave his sunglasses on, 'cause we're cool like that

If Sean can hold back until the father/daughter dance, he’ll likely win. Maybe I should change the song or follow Grandpa Bartolo’s lead. He wore dark shades at his sons’ and daughters’ weddings.

4 thoughts on “The bet

  1. Elissa

    I say call off the bet. This is a once in a lifetime day. Be present in every moment and every emotion. Even if it means a little make-up clean up throughout the day.

    Reply
  2. liz

    I’m the biggest cry baby I know. That being said, a good friend gave me the best advise ever when we were planning our wedding. She said to let it all out before the wedding, make yourself envision that day and let it out. Have to say that every time I would hear the song I picked for the father-daughter dance I would cry like a baby. When I imagine saying our vows, I would cry. When I imagined looking at my parents, I would lose it. So it sorta worked for me. The day of, I had one urge to cry and I took a deep breath and told myself, you’re good liz. I didn’t cry the entire day, I did have a smile from ear to ear. Just take a deep breathe and go with the day because it’ll be a day for the two of you! :) congrats c

    Reply
  3. Kristy Gomez

    at a key moment pre-father/daughter dance, make reference to how this day makes you REALLY understand why LLoyd held that boombox over his head, or something about Catwoman to his Batman. He’ll find it sexy and sentimental, and waterworks will flow. that’s a win win, homie. TREAT YO’SELF! :)

    Reply
  4. Martha Mascote

    Forget the bet. I agree with Elissa. Feel and enjoy every moment of your wedding, tears and all. Don’t spend it concentrating on anything but your day and all the emotions you will feel. I’m afraid if you concentrate on not crying you may “miss” something. So you have to fix your makeup a few times during the day…all brides do. You will be part of a wonderful brides club. Charlie’s gonna cry walking you down the aisle so I think you just might lose the bet at that time. Can’t wait to see how beautiful you’re gonna look.

    Reply

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