31, UCLA & finding my religion

Posted on August 29, 2011 by cindylu

It’s hot out there, folks. Stay hydrated.

***

I got through the work day with some help from my Puro Pedo Magazine colleagues. We started making up titles for fake research papers on Latino movies. I offered up a few including “We have to be more Mexican than the Mexicans and more American than the Americans: Poch@ identity formation in Selena.

That’d be a neat dissertation topic, no? I’m already interested in racial/ethnic identity formation… it could happen. Or not.

I should probably just focus on Latino college students majoring in the sciences. I find those kids interesting. Just don’t ask me to remember their names.

Yesterday afternoon, one of the sophomores in the Program (aka Job1) spotted me at St. Augustine, a church in Culver City. I’ve passed by dozens of time while driving and running, but had never attended a service there. We got to St. Augustine with 15 minutes to spare before Mass and walked around the grounds. As we walked toward the school and parking lot, two young women passed by. The woman in a yellow sundress doubled back.

“Cindy!”

I was surprised she knew my name. She picked up on this.

“Hi! I’m in [program]! I’m a sophomore.”

“Oh, hi! Um… you’ll have to tell me your name, I forget students’ names all the time.”

I felt so embarrassed that I didn’t recognize her at all. The name thing happens more often. After their fall quarter freshman seminar, I only see the 80+ students a few times a quarter and interact with them mainly through email. I’d have to make flash cards to remember everyone’s names. I see current/former [Program] students all the time on campus, but have never seen one off campus unless it was a UCLA-related event.

She told me her name and I introduced her to Sean. I told her it was our fist time visiting St. Augustine, her home parish. She invited us to grab some food and cake at the anniversary celebration for the sisters associated with the parish, but we were full.

I’ve been pretty spotty on Mass attendance since going away to college. I’m working on getting back in the habit thanks to Fr. Ricky at St. John Vianney. When Sean and I met with him about having our wedding at SJV, he reminded me that I need to practice my faith as part of my preparation for the sacrament of marriage. Attending only on holidays, Lent and the occasional wedding wasn’t going to cut it.

Sean — who grew up Lutheran — has been accompanying me to Mass. When we’re in Hacienda Heights on a Sunday, we go to SJV. When we’re in LA (most Sundays), we’ve been going to St. Timothy in Rancho Park. Yesterday we skipped their noon service in favor of the 5 pm youth service at St. Augustine in Culver City. I generally like youth services, they’re much livelier. I like St. Timothy, but I haven’t been able to make it through a service without breaking in to giggle fits thanks to a man his 60s/70s always sits front and center. First, he has an interesting look. He has a big belly, a beard and long gray/white hair he twists so it sits atop his head (kinda like a Snork). His hair makes him easy to spot. Second, he draws out the final word of hymns long after everyone else has finished singing. It’s rather odd to hear his deep voice hang over with “eviiiiiiiil” or “peeeeeeace” in an otherwise silent church. The first time he did it, we were surprised. The next few times we tried unsuccessfully to suppress giggles.

I need to pick a new parish. SJV is great, but I won’t go to Mass weekly if I have to drive 30-45 minutes just to make it there. St. Augustine offers more Masses, including a Spanish service at noon and the youth service at fives. St. Timothy’s latest service is at noon and it’ll help me work on keeping a straight face.

Any tips on choosing a church or parish?

The curious case of Zoë Saldana

Posted on August 27, 2011 by cindylu

Yesterday during my regular pedicure at my local nail salon, I picked up a copy of the September issue of Latina Magazine. I used to subscribe years ago and then let my subscription lapse. Aside from the constant code-switching which always felt forced and inauthentic. I don’t dislike code-switching or Spanglish. I speak and write like that, but I also recognize that it’s tough to write and make it feel natural. I did appreciate that their models were often real women and they were not 5’10 and 115 pounds.

I haven’t paid much attention to them lately, at least not positive attention. A few weeks ago, I heard about their inane list on 10 Latinas who have played “the help” in movies or television shows. It was a tie-in to the movie of the same name. For obvious reasons, there was a bit of social media outcry. It wasn’t about the perceived status of maids, nannies or domésticas; their work is valued and important. Instead, the criticism arose from the tone deafness of the article. There was no criticism about the lack of meaningful roles for Latinas and Latinos. The blurb about Lupe Ontiveros mentioned her estimate that she has played a maid 150 times, but was in no way critical of the fact that she didn’t have many other opportunities.

Anyway, as I flipped through the magazine, I checked out the details of Zoë Saldana’s photo shoot. On the same page, they included thumbnails of her previous covers for the magazine in May 2006 (far left above) and June/July 2009 (middle). I was surprised to see the change in skin tone between her first cover and subsequent covers. I know all magazines do a lot of touching up, but it’s interesting to see how much they’ve lightened her up over the years. Way to celebrate Afro-Latinas, Latina Magazine.

31, El Cargadero, Zacatecas & tamborazo

Posted on August 17, 2011 by cindylu

During the fiestas de San Rafael, the patron saint of El Cargadero, the ghost town comes to life with migrants who have returned for the festivities. I’ve never been there for the feasts in October, but 4 years ago my parents went with Papá Chepe and Mamá Toni. During the day, they went through the bureaucracy of signing over the grandparents’ house to my mom. In the evening they joined the festivities in the Plaza del Migrante or watched the borlote (commotion) from the balcony. My grandparents’ – well, now mom’s – house overlooks the main plaza. This was great for people watching, but not great for making international calls.

My dad called me one evening during the trip. Even though he was inside the house with the windows closed, I could still barely hear him. It wasn’t the connection; the background noise of drums and horns from down below was drowning him out.

The sound was familiar. I’d heard it several times before at anniversary parties, weddings, birthday parties and any other special occasion. Pretty much every big party on the Zacatecano/maternal side of the family featured a tamborazo zacatecano.

I must confess, I’ve always been ambivalent to tamborazo, which sounds a bit like a marching band^[1] sometimes. It might just be the Guanjuato/paternal musical influence, but I never warmed to the music. For backyard parties, the tamborazo was always too loud. Sometimes, the horns and woodwinds sounded out of tune and the musicians weren’t that good. There was no singing; and after a while songs started to sound the same. Like the rest of my cousins, I was usually glad when the band took a break and the DJ played pocho-friendly music. Despite my ambivalence, I danced, especially if my 91-year old tamborazo-loving grandpa pulls me out to the dance floor. I love dancing with Papá Chepe and will take every opportunity I get while he can still dance.

I feel a little bad for feeling this way. I’m supposed to be proud of my culture and champion it, right? Even if it hurts my ears?
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#aztlanreads

Posted on August 16, 2011 by cindylu

Yesterday afternoon, I noticed some of my Twitter contacts naming fiction and non-fiction works by Chicana/o writers and scholars. As is the custom on twitter, they added a searchable hashtag: #aztlanreads.

First it was just 3 or 4 people chiming in, but it’s grown. It’s obvious, there are hundreds of texts out there by Chicana/o writers. Xicano007 said #aztlanreads will be the perfect way to show others that we do indeed read and write. Annemarie Pérez, a recently minted PhD in English, replied that it could also be useful to anyone at a loss for finding Chicana/o texts. She added that it’s neat to see how the same texts have influenced several people as they’re mentioned again and again.

I added a few contributions including my blog’s namesake Spilling the Beans: Lotería Chicana by José Antonio Burciaga. Then I pulled out his collection of poetry Undocumented Love/Amor Indocumentado which includes one of my favorite poems, “Bilingual Love.” I’m not sure I’ll be adding books to my reading list any time soon or going back to re-read old favorites.

The #aztlanreads list is growing. You don’t have to be on Twitter to view it, but you do need a Twitter account to join the conversation on Twitter. (Your account can be private, but your tweets won’t show up in the #aztlanreads database, only to your approved followers.)

Check it out and add your favorite texts. There are no rules. You can add edited volumes, prose, poetry, fiction, non-fiction, texts you read in your Chicana/o Studies classes, lo que sea.

There’s chatter of starting other lists such as #aztlanfilms and #aztlanmusic to highlight the work of other Chicana/o creatives. Maybe if we get crazy, we can add an #aztlanblogs.

Hah.

Old school

Posted on April 27, 2011 by cindylu

Sometime in the late 80s, Papá Chepe and Mamá Toni sold their Boyle Heights home. My family’s Hacienda Heights home became their default residence while they were in LA, away from their homes in Tijuana and El Cargadero, Zacatecas.

As one might expect, our three bedroom, 1.5 bathroom house felt crowded with eight people spanning three generations sharing the space. The physical aspect wasn’t ever that big of a deal except when the grandparents went to bed early on the living room sofa bed and we had to be quiet in the kitchen. No, what took more time to adjust to mom and Mamá Toni’s often clashing opinions on how the house should be run.

Mom has always had all four kids help out with chores both in and outside the house. I had to help in the kitchen more often than my brothers, and they had to rake the leaves of mow the lawn more often than I did. There were times when the roles would be mixed and Danny would be doing the laundry or ironing. And we all had to help trim la mora and clean up the huge mess (the mulberry tree in the front yard).

Mamá Toni was quick to express her disapproval of this set-up. She scolded Mom for letting Danny iron his own pants and called me and Lori lazy. Once when she saw dad washing dishes and helping mom clean up after dinner, she told mom she was embarrassed.

My grandma’s old school attitudes stressed out mom who saw talking back to one’s parents as taboo. Mom had to find a respectful way to tell her own mother that in her household it was okay for her husband to help wash dishes and her sons to wash their own dirty socks.

After living with my mom for 20+ years and nearing 90, Mamá Toni has calmed down a bit in her strict division of labor. After she got sick and was hospitalized in 2004, she even let Papá Chepe wash his own dishes after lunch. I was flabbergasted when I saw this as I’d never seen him even take his dish to the sink or warm up his own tortilla. I’ve seen him do this a few times since, and it’s still strange for me.

Every once in a while, Mamá Toni will still speak up when she sees something that conforms to her view of the way things should be. On Sunday most of the women in my family complimented me on my cute new dress. Mamá Toni said nothing about the dress and only complimented me when I put on my apron so I could make a green salad and protect my white dress.

“Que bonita te ves con tu pechera,” she said. [Translation: You look so pretty with your apron.]

The only time she ever compliments my looks is when I’m wearing an apron. I’m okay with that. The apron is pretty cool.

Every day is like (a Lenten) Friday

Posted on April 5, 2011 by cindylu

I gave up meat for Lent. I chose meat over sweets because the former seemed easier. I’m still eating fish, seafood and eggs, so it’s basically like every day is a Lenten Friday.

I’ve never gone so long without eating poultry or red meat. It was a bit challenging initially. I wasn’t eating enough protein and was hungry all the time. Plus, I was still training for the marathon and I worried that the change in diet might negatively affect me. It didn’t.

After the first couple of weeks, I’ve adjusted to the new diet. I miss meat, but not too much. There have only been a couple of instances when I really wanted meat. One was when I was right in front of the taco stand at my family’s fundraiser. The tacos de pollo, al pastor and carne asada smelled so good. It didn’t help that I wasn’t interested in any of the meatless options. A second was after the marathon. I really wanted a cheeseburger but settled for a salmon burger.

I miss meat more out of convenience. When I cook, I usually make something with chicken or beef. If I don’t have time to pack anything for lunch, I typically make a turkey or ham sandwich, or I grab a Trader Joe’s microwavable meal. Those usually have chicken. I’ve tried TJ’s vegetarian microwavable meals and they’re either not satisfying or just taste bad.

The best part of this has been trying out new recipes and cooking some things I love but never make (e.g., tacos de papa). Over the weekend I made El Chavo’s veggie mole. I had this at his house last year and loved it despite not caring for tofu. I followed El Chavo’s directions to a tee and my veggie mole was delicious. Sean even had seconds. [Note: the chilaquiles, soyrizo with papas and beans up there were made by El Chavo too. Very delicious. He needs to post up a recipe for the salsa he used on the chilaquiles.]

If anything, I know that giving up meat for 40 days is much easier than giving up tortillas. I dreamt about tortillas three times then, but haven’t had any dreams about cheeseburgers or tacos de pollo asado… yet.

Mariposa martyrs (book giveaway!)

Posted on March 18, 2011 by cindylu

Thanks to Algonquin Books I’ll be giving away two copies of In the Time of the Butterflies, a historical fiction novel by Julia Alvarez.

Giveaway details:
1. To enter, leave a comment. Make sure to include a valid email address (don’t worry, it won’t be posted online)
2. In the comment, tell me about your favorite novel
3. Only one entry per person (honor code, don’t use more than one email address, folks)
4. Contest closes at 11:59 pm on Wednesday, March 23rd
5. Two winners will be picked at random

Also, tune in to Monday’s webcast. Alvarez will be interviewed by acclaimed writer Edwidge Danticat about In the Time of the Butterflies. The interview will take place in Miami at Books in Books and will be webcast online. I’ll be checking it out as I recover from the marathon!

Webcast details:
Monday, March 21
7:00 pm EST
Streaming live at Algonquin Book Club

Click through to read why In the Time of the Butterflies is my favorite novel. It’s not because of my affinity for butterflies…

Continue reading →

This day in Chicana herstory: Eva Longoria

Posted on March 15, 2011 by cindylu

March 15, 1975
I used to watch Desperate Housewives. I couldn’t stand Eva Longoria’s character, Gabrielle Solis, in early seasons, but she was one of the few Latinas on TV. So I kept watching. Then I read a profile on her in some magazine while getting a pedicure. She seemed kind of likable.

Longoria doesn’t shy away from her ethnicity, unlike other Latina actresses (cough, Jessica Alba, cough). She seems very committed to various philanthropic causes and charities, including Eva’s Heroes for children with developmental disabilities. Eva’s Heroes is quite personal as Longoria’s older sister has developmental disabilities. I don’t know if she’s really a great person, or if her publicists just make her look good.

Last week, I highlighted the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo and mentioned that it was supposed to protect those who had been granted land before the Mexican American War. These people are the original Chicanos who can actually say, “we didn’t cross the borders, the borders crossed up.” Apparently, Longoria’s ancestors are one of those families. I knew they had been in Texas a long time, but they went way back.

In 2009, she enrolled in the Chicano Studies master’s program at CSUN. I remember this news spreading through Facebook. My friends in the program were ecstatic, especially the men who couldn’t wait to offer to be a study partner. I don’t think they’ve ever seen her. Maybe she’s taking the classes online.

Happy birthday, Eva.

This day in Chicano history: Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo Ratified by US Senate

Posted on March 10, 2011 by cindylu

March 10, 1848:
While February 2nd is noted by some as the original birthday of the first Chicanos, March 10th is notable too. because the version of the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo ratified by the Senate was different than the one signed in Mexico a few weeks earlier.

Via the Library of Congress:

Other provisions stipulated the Texas border at the Rio Grande (Article V), protection for the property and civil rights of Mexican nationals living within the new border (Articles VIII and IX), U.S. promise to police its side of the border (Article XI), and compulsory arbitration of future disputes between the two countries (Article XXI). When the U.S. Senate ratified the treaty in March, it reduced Article IX and deleted Article X guaranteeing the protection of Mexican land grants. Following the Senate’s ratification of the treaty, U.S. troops left Mexico City.

This would be a significant part of the Chicano Movement in the 60s and 70s as people like Reies Tijerina fought to have the original land grants recognized.

As mentioned above, the civil rights of the new Chicanos were also amended from the version signed on February 2nd.

Article VIII guaranteed that Mexicans who remained more than one year in the ceded lands would automatically become full-fledged American citizens (or they could declare their intention of remaining Mexican citizens); however, the Senate modified Article IX, changing the first paragraph and excluding the last two. Among the changes was that Mexican citizens would “be admitted at the proper time (to be judged of by the Congress of the United States)” instead of “admitted as soon as possible”, as negotiated between Trist and the Mexican delegation.
[Via Wikipedia]

The Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo is still relevant today, especially as states like Arizona pass law after law targeting our community. As Dr. Cintli Rodriguez discusses, the provisions guarding the civil rights of Mexicans in the ceded territories may be useful for those who seek to challenge SB 1070 and proposed laws affecting citizenship rights for children of undocumented immigrants.

From Hoppers to Fullerton

Posted on February 28, 2011 by cindylu

While you read this, you should listen to Lucero’s The Devil and Maggie Chascarillo

Last Thursday night, Sean and I attended the second lecture in Gustavo’s Awesome Lecture Series at the Fullerton Public Library. Gustavo Arellano is currently teaching a course in the Cal State Fullerton Chicano Studies department. The lecture series is an effort to take Chicano Studies in to the surrounding community and make it more accessible (read: free parking at an easy to find location).

Thursday’s talk featured Jaime Hernandez co-creator of the seminal Love & Rockets series. Even though I had to bail on a work event and go all the way to Fullerton in rush hour traffic, I didn’t want to miss this talk.

I’m a newbie to the world of L&R. I tried to get in to the series summer ‘09, but I was a little lost. It wasn’t until I read the collections as suggested by L&R publisher Fantagraphics Books that I really started to enjoy the series. Sean gave the first three collections of Jaime’s work for Christmas that year. I read them while home sick and on vacation. Even though I never lived a life like Chimatli who saw her life, friends and experiences in the characters, I was hooked. By February, I’d gone through the larger collection Locas II, featuring the later adventures of Maggie, Hopey and a wide array of characters.

On Thursday afternoon, Sean and I left work early to battle rush hour traffic on four freeways. Thanks to Gustavo’s tips, we made it to Fullerton with a few minutes to spare and took seats in the front row of an almost full room.

Gustavo introduced Jaime and started an informal discussion. Rather than delve into the “fictional world of SoCal Chican@ punks, cholos and weird, spooky unexplained happenings” (Coincidence pt 1 by Chimatli) contained in a few decades worth of L&R, Gustavo mainly focused on Jaime’s upbringing in Oxnard and the inspiration for the fictional Hoppers. Jaime talked about which comics he enjoyed as a kid and how his mother actively encouraged him and his brothers to read and collect comics.

He also gave a lot of credit to his older brother and partner in L&R, Gilbert. I was a little surprised and amused by this. As a kid and teen, Jaime looked up to Gilbert and admired his drawing and writing skills. “Gilbert always knew what he was doing,” he said. The way Jaime spoke of his brother made me think of how Danny had influenced me or how I may have influenced Lori or Adrian. When Gustavo opened up the questions to the audience, I asked Jaime how he and Gilbert continue to influence or collaborate now that they’re both well established artists. Jaime admitted that they don’t really talk about work when they get together as he is in Pasadena and Gilbert lives in Las Vegas but they do still check in and ask “What stories are you including in the next issue?”

After questions, we lined up to by books and get our books signed. Sean bought The Art of Jaime Hernandez: The Secrets of Life and Death by Todd Hignite (2010). I tried not to be as much of geeked out fangirl as when I met Sherman Alexie. Jaime signed my copy of Locas II and L&R #31 (of course!). I told him I was a new fan and really enjoyed New Stories Vol. 3, especially “Love Bunglers” an intense and heartbreaking story. I told Jaime I was impressed with the storytelling and found myself reading it a few times to really appreciate the story. I’m sure I still sounded like a dork, but he graciously accepted the compliments and admitted that “Love Bunglers” was intense (to say the least).

Sean and I left feeling geeked to meet one of our favorite writers in a low-key setting.

Thanks to Gustavo, CSUF Chicano Studies and Fullerton Public Library for planning and hosting the talk. Oh yeah, and thanks to Gustavo for suggesting El Camino Real for a delicious and cheap dinner nearby.

Heads up:
If you’re near San Jose, you should check out Novelas, Love and Other Adventures at MACLA. The original panels for the “Death of Speedy” by Jaime Hernandez are up alongside some work from my friend and talented artist Rio Yañez.