I’m slow when it comes to recapping weekends, vacations and fun days with the family. It’s worse if I have to upload and edit pictures. I know some bloggers do this daily and even recap each day of their vacation, but I can’t do that.

After being back at work for a couple of days, I’d like to go back and relive the long weekend — except for that part on Saturday night when the UCLA football team forgot to show up at the Coliseum. Yikes.

Other than Saturday night, the long weekend was filled with good times.

Sean and I kicked it off by watching The Muppets on Wednesday evening. We both loved it as did the rest of the audience in the theater. I plan to see it again soon. I’m pretty sure I missed some cameos and jokes because I was laughing too much (manically, of course). I’d also like to learn some of the original songs and add them to my karaoke go-to song list.

After for going for a sunny mid-day run on Thursday, I headed over with Sean to my madrina’s house in East LA. Madrina Chilo always hosts Thanksgiving and other family members bring sides and desserts. By the time Sean and I arrived a little after 3 with our sweet potato casserole, most of the family had already eaten. I’d barely eaten in the morning so, I couldn’t be bothered to photograph my first plate. After scarfing down turkey, ham and lots of carby sides — stuffing! mac and cheese! — we retired to a spare bedroom with the rest of the cousins.

We played Imagine If and Last Word, took silly photos, and tried to keep baby Minel from stealing our cell phones. I liked the Last Word. It’s an easy game to set up and play with several people. It also made us laugh a lot as we tried to think up words that went along with the category (e.g. things in a purse) that started with the designate letter. Before everyone went home, we also picked names for the big family Christmas gift exchange.

I hope Sean enjoyed his first Thanksgiving with my family, even if he didn’t get his usual turkey leg… at least not initially. I luckily was in the kitchen just as Madrina Chilo was carving the second turkey and asked for the turkey leg to take home with my other leftovers. Yes, I brought my own tupperware.

I didn’t do any late night shopping on Thursday or hit the stores for deals on Friday and attempted to make some pumpkin pie. It didn’t work out well, but redeemed ourselves with some brownies. Instead, we ate leftovers, watched movies (Drive and The Muppets Take Manhattan) and were lazy.

Saturday was another chill day. I supported some small businesses (local nail salon for a pedicure, tacos from a local restaurant). I didn’t watch the USC/UCLA game since I don’t have cable. Instead I just got ESPN updates with each scoring play. A 50-0 loss sucks, but I wasn’t terribly disappointed or embarrassed. I’m not the one on the field or sidelines. Nor am I the one hiring and recruiting the coaches and students involved with the football program. There are many other reasons to be embarrassed and ashamed by college football programs and your alma mater than losing in a blowout to your rival.

At the end of the game, I thought of the UCLA marching band’s post-game ritual. I was in the band during my first two years, it was fun, but time consuming during football season. After each game, we’d play the alma mater, “Hail to the Hills of Westwood” on the sidelines. If we won the game, we’d play and sing a silly song called “Rover.” Then we’d change out of our uniforms and get back on the bus to Westwood. As our buses traveled the final few blocks in to campus, we’d sing the alma mater a second time. I miss those moments and wanted to sing the alma mater again even if it wouldn’t be followed with “Rover.” Maybe when I finally graduate, I’ll audition to be the singer at the ed school ceremony. That would be cool.

Earlier today, I was making fun of the Berkeley College Republicans on Twitter:

“I’m surprised college Republican groups are still doing the pay by race bake sale thing. That’s so 2000. I think they’d be more original.”

A few minutes later I added a link to the cartoon Lalo Alcaraz (above) published after the UCLA Bruin Republicans held a pay by race bake sale in 2003. I’m not sure you can actually call it a bake sale since they sold Oreos, Twinkies and crackers. Heavy handed with the symbolism much? Fellow UCLA alumni told me the bake sale was also done in the mid 1990s.

I wasn’t offended by the bake sale. Instead, I was surprised they were getting so much attention. Must be a slow news week, huh? Plus, these students could barely read when race conscious admissions were banned in 1995 and 1996 (first by the Regents of the University of California and then by the California electorate). SP-1 and Proposition 209 probably mean nothing to today’s freshman, born in 1993. My politics and education were shaped by those policies.

In the spring of 1998, I was part of the first class admitted under the new race-neutral admissions policies at the University of California. As I made my decision about which UC campus to attend, Berkeley or Los Angeles, I read about the severe drop (up to 50% for some groups at UC Berkeley and UCLA) in the LA Times. I didn’t get in to UC San Diego and wondered if I would have been admitted to San Diego under the old policies. When I toured UCLA and Berkeley with my parents, I noticed students protesting the effects of Proposition 209, a severe drop in the numbers of underrepresented minorities admitted. In the fall when I began classes at UCLA, I was well aware that my freshman class was much less black, Latino and American Indian than previous classes.

In the next few years, I got involved with student groups actively working on diversity issues and admissions reform. I continued my involvement as a doctoral student in higher education. I spent a couple of years on the board of the UC Student Association and lobbied California legislators on bills related to higher education access and affordability. I researched and wrote about admissions practices at UC campuses, attended weekly meetings of black alumni and community leaders pressing for admissions reform at UCLA, and was the graduate student representative on the systemwide Board of Admissions and Relations with Schools. I was definitely plugged in to admissions and diversity issues at UC.

Yet despite my years of activism, research, and lobbying, I hadn’t heard about SB 185. The bill, introduced by Senator Ed Hernandez would allow California’s public universities “to consider race, gender, ethnicity, and national origin, along with other relevant factors, in undergraduate and graduate admissions.” (Source)

I’m thankful the Berkeley Republicans recycled the bake sale. If not for them, I’d still be out of the loop. Now I can email Governor Jerry Brown encouraging him to sign SB 185 and encourage my friends to do the same.

This relay with my ed school people is gonna kick my ass. I’m not a sprinter.

That’s what I tweeted after the first practice with my relay team five weeks ago. I don’t have even a fraction of the speed of some other really fast Mexicans like Leonel Manzano and Ana Guevara. The other women on my team, Ashley and Tanya easily outran me. And of course I was slower than Marc, the one guy on our team. I didn’t feel too good about my chances of running a relay and not making a fool of myself.

Still, I didn’t back out. I liked my speed workouts on the track. At the practices, we did a mix of workouts: sprints of varying distances with recovery jogs or walks; hills; running the stadium stairs; and practiced passing the baton. We even got some unsolicited advice from a man training at professional level on how the “pros” pass the baton.

As I tried my best to become speedier, I also got to know my team, T-MAC. They reminded me of what it was like to be a first or second year in the program and prepare for exams. They were also pretty cool and I’m glad I got to know them. The race was definitely a good way to build community within the program.

The relay was held this afternoon at UCLA’s Drake Stadium track. When I arrived after work, a bunch of HEOC folks were already out to watch the competition between T-MAC (in purple t-shirts) and the Bees Knees (in yellow, of course).

The race was fun and challenging. The lineup:

T-MAC:
Ashley
Tanya
Cindy
Marc

Bees Knees:
Hannah
Gina
Dayna
Chris

Our first two runners would be slower than their first two. We knew this going in to the race. Marc reminded me before we started that we’d behind when Tanya passed off the baton and my job was to catch Dayna. Ashely and Tanya gave it their all. Tanya is slower than Gina, but she kept pace with her so we didn’t lose ground there. Still, we were behind and once Tanya passed the baton to me I had a lot of ground to make up. I tried to catch Dayna, but never did. I did close the substantial gap and was a few steps behind her when I passed off the baton to Marc. The last leg between Marc and Chris was the closest. They were pretty well matched in speed, but Marc couldn’t make up Chris’ small lead. Bees Knees won by a couple of seconds making for a pretty exciting finish.

I was a little bummed about the loss and that I couldn’t catch Dayna. From the photo timestamps, she had about a 17 second lead. I know I could have started faster and pushed harder. I’m more bummed that we didn’t time our splits. I’m pretty sure we all ran faster than we did in practice.

After the race, we were awarded silver beads. The Bees Knees got gold. Then we went off to enjoy a free happy hour and greasy bar food in Westwood. Fun times.

I’m still no sprinter, but at least I didn’t make a fool of myself out there. Now, back to long and easy runs with occasional speed work at the track.

Jorge, a junior, was one of our rising stars. Along with several other students, he was presenting his research at a national conference in Anaheim. Marta, who lived locally, attended the community day portion of the conference on the final day.

I got to Jorge’s poster first. Rather than talk about his research, which I wouldn’t understand anyway, we discussed his experience at the conference. His mother stopped by mid-conversation. He introduced us before turning to the woman who was there to judge his poster.

I had a short conversation with Marta. I learned she was from Guadalajara and had a couple other children who looked up to Jorge.

“You must be proud of him,” I said in Spanish.

She replied enthusiastically, and then confided that she wasn’t sure what she did to get her son to UCLA. Even her family wanted to know her secret.

“¿Qué le diste de comer?”^[2] they’d ask.

I smiled at the thought of Marta feeding Jorge a heaping plate of talent for math and science coupled with a tall glass of ganas.

I admitted to Marta that I was also the child of Mexican immigrants and a first generation college student. In my pocha Spanish, I tried to convey what my parents “fed” me. I didn’t tell her that she reminded me of my father in her humility over the role she played in her son’s academic success.

In February, I interviewed my dad about his “little life” and family. Toward the end of the interview, he asked a question:

You always had a tremendous amount of drive, and you started at a very, very, very young age, setting goals and setting your expectations very, very high. And it’s always something that I’ve admired very much about you. Of what you’ve done and what you’ve been able to accomplish, and the responsibility and the woman you’ve become. Um, where did it begin? Where did it start?

I paused for a moment before answering, “I don’t know.” And then I couldn’t be shut up as I rambled about my desire to make him and mom proud, my curiosity and love of learning, being tracked in to the gifted and talented program, and going to school in a somewhat competitive environment with other college-going kids. Somewhere in there, I finally brought up him and mom.

I thought, ‘wow, my dad’s exceptional. That’s the family I come from.’ … You and mom also made it very possible for to meet my goals. I’ve never thought it was just something that came from me. I did my homework, but you and mom set up that environment for me. You and mom took me to places, you gave us the tools to you know, fly (to be cheesy). You took me, you took a Saturday off to bring me to UCLA or to go take my SAT at Whittier College. I think, you know, in the end it says my name on my degree. It’s gonna say my name, but, I think that last name is really what matters… Whenever I see my accomplishments, I see them in this context, that I wouldn’t have been able to accomplish them without all the support I’ve always had from my family.

I really don’t know what Marta did to support Jorge, but I’m pretty sure she was like my own exceptional parents who made it possible for me to reach my goals.

Notes:
^^[1] Marta and Jorge are pseudonyms
^^[2] Translation: what did you feed him?

Anyway, this message from Danny Oso’s little brother, Eddie, makes me a bit more excited about get out the vote efforts and the upcoming election. Danny writes:

My little brother wanted to get involved with the midterm elections. I ony helped him with some facts and editing the video. He wrote and drew everything himself. Please make sure you vote!

If you’re not yet registered, go here. The registration deadline is coming up!

I’m going to get back in to danza.

I attended the SACNAS conference in Anaheim. I was there primarily for Job2 in which I do research on undergraduate and graduate students in science, technology, engineering and math (STEM). Students and co-workers from Job1 were there too and it was a nice opportunity to get to know them better even though I’ve known some of them for 4+ years now. I really enjoyed the conference and it made me even more excited for my dissertation.

The conference ends with a pow wow open to conference attendees as well as the public. Even though I was tired from a long day of traipsing around the Anaheim Convention Center and learning more about STEM education (in practice), I decided to stay. I like pow wows. I love the dancing, drumming, beautiful and intricate regalia, the representation of a rich cultural tradition and an opportunity to buy all kinds of beautiful jewelry.

I had the most fun at this pow wow, even though there were no frybread vendors, because I joined in on the dancing. I even tried to do what I remembered from my danza days during the intertribal.

It’s the last week of August which means (a) students all around the country are beginning the fall term or getting ready to, (b) all my friends who teach and work at colleges are lamenting the end of summer, and (c) most importantly, my birthday is right around the corner.

This also means I’m almost done meeting 100+ freshmen and getting them prepared for the fall quarter which begins in a month. My summer won’t be officially over until then, but I don’t feel like it ever really started as summers tend to be busier than the fall, winter and spring terms. (And I’m swamped with my own academic work… yeah, I’m still working on that PhD.)

Since I think I’ve learned something after 6 years of working with hundreds of college freshmen, I thought I’d impart a little advice.

1. Ditch the cutesy email address, e.g., xxbabygurl23xx@blahblah.com when it comes to your official school contact info. Your professors and staff can see this on class rosters. Replace it with something simple like firstname.lastname@school.edu or your first initial followed by your last name. I laugh at students’ emails all the time and so do my co-workers.

2. Make sure your financial aid is squared away. Ask lots of questions of financial aid staff even if it feels like you’re bugging them. You don’t want to find out two weeks later that you’re 1 unit/credit short of qualifying for a Pell Grant or something.

3. Tell your parents to back off. It happens every year. I get emails and calls from parents trying to plan their child’s courses. I know you’re barely an adult, but you need to start becoming independent at some point. If you let your mom or dad intervene on your behalf, you’ll (a) never learn how to do this yourself and (b) annoy staff members.

4. Immediately go through all your syllabi and find the days exams will be held or you’re required to turn in a paper. Include these all in your planner.

5. Oh yeah, get a planner and check out time management workshops.

6. If you live on campus, get to know your RA. In a bind, he/she can really help you.

7. Whenever you stop by to see a professor, counselor or other staff member introduce yourself. I can’t count how many times students call me and start explaining their problem. My first questions is always, “what’s your name?” I can’t help you unless I know your name.

8. Avoid skipping class. Education is expensive and every class you skip, you’re missing out on a valuable piece of your education. And future you (if you have loans)/your parents/the taxpayers funding your grants are just wasting their money if you don’t go.

9. There’s no such thing as an easy A course. You’re in college. Those courses are all planned by faculty who spent a lot of time crafting this class and making sure it meets minimum standards. If it’s 4 units, expect to spent 4 hours per unit/per week studying for that class.

10. Don’t rely solely on friends for info on regulations or graduation requirements. Go to a counselor, they’re well versed in these regulations and can often approve exceptions, if needed. You can also get important info from your departmental counselor on which term would be best to take a required course. This can help you stay on track and graduate in a timely manner. It amazes me how few students don’t take advantage of counselors until it’s too late.

Y de pilón, be nice to your grad student TAs who do a big chunk of the teaching and grade most of your work. I’ve never TA’ed. I know some people have great experiences and others hate it, mainly because of the entitled students.

Feel free to add your own about other aspects of college life. I didn’t even get into getting involved on campus or managing your academic/social life, or even managing your family’s expectations (e.g., how to break the news to your mom that you can’t go to your cousin’s birthday party because you have a midterm on Monday.)

Next up, a list of my biggest college regrets.

The Monday morning I moved in, Danny drove me to campus. He brought along Lori and Adrian to help. I don’t remember why my parents didn’t go, but it was probably related to work and the fact that few days later they’d be on campus for the 1-day parent orientation. Still, they weren’t missed at the moment. The siblings were more than enough help.

Once I’d checked in and received my key, we took my stuff up to my room on the third floor of the north wing. The floor was already busy with other students and their parents moving in.

I don’t remember if Lily had already arrived at the room. The details aren’t scribbled in my old journal. I do know she was in the room before we finished moving and the siblings left. Lily was one of several students from Garfield HS in the program. She left to lunch with some other students from her high school.

The siblings stuck around a little while, but soon they had to leave. I walked them out. They hugged me and wished me luck.

When I returned to my room, all that waited for me were a few boxes ready to unpack. I sat on the bet, a bit overwhelmed and feeling lonelier than ever. And I cried.

Every summer for the past 4 years I’ve gone back to dorms about once a week to meet incoming freshmen for work. I was up there this morning, admiring how “the hill” — the residence hall area — has changed. After my meeting, I walked over to the shiny, new Bruin Café and had a drink. I pulled out the Adrian Tomine book Sean lent me and got to reading.

Except for the newness of sitting in the Bruin Café, sitting by myself at table didn’t feel strange. I wasn’t embarrassed or terrified of it as I was on my first day at UCLA. I didn’t know anyone and didn’t want to eat at a table alone. Rather than go hungry, I bought a sandwich from the convenience store on the hill and ate in my room.

I still feel alone sometimes, far from my family, but I’m more comfortable with it. I’ve become quite independent and there are times when I relish in those quiet moments.

But there are still times when I want nothing more than to be back in Hacienda Heights with the parents and siblings. Invariably, those are the times when I get bad/sad news and just need a hug.

“In their honor we will pass the DREAM Act soon and very soon.”
- Kent Wong

When I saw Matias at dinner on Sunday, he looked tired and weighed down with grief over the loss of two of his best friends. Despite this, he offered some advice and shared what he’d learned as a former chair of IDEAS (an advocacy group for undocumented students) and as an organizer for the DREAM Act. Before leaving, he reminded the new crop of student leaders of the memorial service for Tam Tran and Cinthya Felix.

“It’s in the Grand Salon right now, but we’re trying to get a larger venue.”

That didn’t surprise me. The Grand Salon fits 160 people and the event page on Facebook already showed a couple hundred who planned to attend. By morning, he venue was changed to Moore 100, a lecture hall which seats 419 people.

I showed up at 3:20. The room was already filling up. I found a seat next to my friend, Jessie, and waited for the memorial to begin. Soon, all seats were filled and latecomers crowded around the doors or sat in the aisles.

Kent Wong, the director of the UCLA Labor Center emceed. First he introduced Tam and Cinthya’s best friends, Dana and Susan. The two spoke together about the foursome’s bond. “We came as a four-pack,” Dana said about the group that could have been the poster children for diversity at UCLA. Susan and Dana reminisced about their Monday night fried chicken dinners and retold silly anecdotes about the two women many knew as filmmakers and advocates for undocumented youth. Susan told us that Cinthya outreached to high school students even though she really didn’t like kids. Everyone laughed. The full lecture hall broke out in laughter again when Heather admitted that many thought that she and Tam were a couple because they both had short hair and were inseparable. Dana and Tam worked on their papers together. “When we got stuck with writer’s block, we’d just switch papers,” she admitted sheepishly to the crowd which included administrators and faculty. “But it was okay, because we were the same person.”

Next, Cinthya and Tam’s younger brothers spoke about their sisters. Cinthya’s brother (Martin, I think) told us that his sister always pushed him. Lolly, Tam’s brother confessed that he wasn’t a writer or much of a reader. Still, he felt compelled to write a poem for his sister. His poem highlighted his sister’s life, education and passions. It was also silly, “We are here today… To celebrate the best German import since Mercedes Benz,” again, everyone laughed. (Tam was born in Germany.)

Tam and Cinthya’s family members were followed by several friends, student leaders, alumni, professors, and mentors. They shared their experiences with Tam and Cinthya and told us how they’d been inspired or seen them change. Through them, I learned that Tam wrote a senior thesis on Radiohead and Cinthya was a daredevil who had gone skydiving.

In between the speakers, we watched two of Tam’s short documentaries. First we watched Lost and Found, a widely viewed short about Tam’s friend and fellow UCLA student, Stephanie Solis and her experience as an undocumented student. Stephanie also shared and said Tam, always selfless and giving, sold DVDs of Lost and Found to raise money for Stephanie’s education. Afterward, we watched The Seattle Underground Railroad, a 12-minute film featuring Cinthya, Matias and another student’s road trip to Washington to obtain a driver’s license.

After the roadtrip documentary, Matias spoke about his close friends. He told the crowd that he always found it odd that Cinthya had a car and a vanity plate. The license plate read “YLLEGAL,” which made him think “now she’s just asking to get pulled over.” Everyone laughed.

Next, Christian Estrada and Charlene Gomez, sang Violeta Parra’s Gracias a la Vida” (more in Mercedes Sosa’s style and another song. They played and sang beautifully.

Finally, Fabiola, an IDEAS leader, asked current and former DREAMers to join her for a moment of silence. Half the attendees got up and crowded the small stage and area around it. The room fell silent for a moment. Then we were asked to link up arm in arm for the final song, John Lennon’s “Imagine.”

Some sang along softly and others sobbed as they remembered Tam and Cinthya, not the only DREAMers.

If you’d like to help keep Tam and Cinthya’s dreams alive, you can contribute to their memorial fund here.

A Dream Deferred. from Jeesoo Park on Vimeo.

Dear Friends,

It is with great sadness that I regret to inform everyone of the passing of Tam Tran and Cinthya Felix. These women were nationally active in the undocumented students Civil Rights Movement through their fight for the DREAM Act. Both were UCLA undergraduates and as graduate students Tam was a Doctoral Student in American Civilization at Brown University, while Cinthya was studying Public Health at Columbia University. These women were amazing activists and put themselves at great risk to fight for this just cause. Cinthya was a working class student from East Los Angeles, California and attended Garfield High School and Tam’s family had been displaced as a result of the Vietnam War and was from Garden Grove, CA. There is much more information in the links below about their lives.

more

Like many who have written about Tam and Cinthya’s passing, I didn’t know them personally. I knew of these two young leaders by simply being a fellow UCLA student leader and a supporter of the DREAM Act (both the federal and California versions).

Still, I was inspired by their courage to speak out and tell their stories.

Even though Tam and Cinthya passed on way too soon, I have no doubt they will continue to inspire more DREAMers.

A memorial service will be held on Monday May 17 from 3-5 pm in the Kerckhoff Grand Salon at UCLA.