Xavi’s Valentine’s Day cards

[Mainly written on December 12th.]

I grew up celebrating Nuestra Señora la Virgen de Guadalupe’s feast day on December 12th at St. John Vianney. I sang, men’s health danced, help prayed and ate. I loved the danzantes, diagnosis the mariachi and the food at the party immediately after mass.

Even in the years I never went to church I still observed this day. Guadalupano roots run deep.

I was worried I wouldn’t be able to celebrate in Ithaca. The churches here don’t have regular Spanish language masses. One church hosts a monthly mass in Spanish and that’s where I found out that there would be a mass for Our Lady of Guadalupe hosted by the Cornell Catholic Community . Andrea asked if anyone wanted to help sing and I volunteered.&nbs
Sean dropped us off at the chapel at 11:30. I was late for the mini choir rehearsal but it was still okay since the music was familiar. Xavi sat patiently and watched Andrea play the guitar and Anna play the piano. We practiced and the non Spanish speakers did a good job learning the songs in a short time.

The chapel at Anabel Taylor Hall was more full than I expected with a lot of students. The service was a bit different than I’m used to. It was in Spanish, sure, but instead of a mariachi a small choir accompanied by piano and acoustic guitar sang the traditional songs like La Guadalupana and Las Mañanitas. There were no danzantes, kids dressed up as Juan Diego or in traditional Mexican clothing or an elaborate dedication of flowers in La Virgencitas alcove. What wasn’t different was a gathering afterward with food. Xavi was happy with rice and tortilla chips and I tried to restrain myself when I saw students bring out tamales. They were delicious. Despite the differences and that I barely knew anyone at the service, it was the closest I’ve felt to home in the six months I’ve lived here.

I’m glad Xavi got to experience a tradition I’ve grown up with. I can’t wait until he gets his own little Juan Diego outfit and sings along. He comes from a long line of Guadalupanos and I’m happy to continue this tradition even in los cerros (hills) of Ithaca.

I have fun making these each year and thinking of the perfect message for each family member. This year, visit web
the non-personalized cards were train themed, because he loves his trains. Xavi even helped a little by “signing” the backs of each card.


Gullible parents

but still looking good by cindylu, on Flickr”>The parents a little overexposed, but still looking good

When I put up the April Fool’s day post about a civil wedding, I didn’t bother informing my parents or siblings. They occasionally read my blog, but I didn’t think they’d read that day nor fall for the joke. I was wrong on the latter. My mom read it later in the week and called my dad a little confused. “Am I losing my memory?” she asked him.

He read the post and was fooled too until he got to the end. “You got us good,” he told me.

Silly parents.

We couldn’t wait any longer…

Sean and I are less than six months out from the wedding. It seems like a lot of time, disease but we still need to make a bunch of decisions. Some things still on the list:

  • Hiring a DJ: This one isn’t easy considering our guest list is quite diverse and we’d like everyone to enjoy themselves. We need a DJ who can play music that will appeal to 4 generations of my Mexican family (nonagenarians to twenty-somethings), bronchitis Sean’s Jamaican family and our friends.
  • Choosing attire for Sean, medic bridesmaids and groomsmen
  • Deciding on hair, makeup, veil and accessories for me
  • Decorations: we need everything from flowers to linens
  • Invitations: they’re in progress

There’s one big thing we can cross off the list:

Since it was just a civil ceremony with a justice of the peace, we kept it simple with my parents, siblings and grandparents. Sean’s parents and brother Skyped in from New York.

Through this whole process, we’ve wondered if the big wedding was really worth it. Yesterday, we felt like we were missing a lot. We can’t wait to have a few hundred of our friends and family watch us do this a bit more formally and celebrate with us.

Continue reading “We couldn’t wait any longer…”

Guide to holiday blogging

Are you in a blogging rut? Need some ideas for blog posts?

Never fear, cure here’s 10 timely topics. Don’t worry, these haven’t been done to death by bloggers, magazine writers and local TV news.

christmas eve goodies

1. How not to gain weight through the holidays and manage eating at holiday parties. This includes writing about low-fat and low-calorie versions of traditional holiday dishes.

Regalos (gifts) for everyone

2. Gift guides for everyone, including the neighbor’s dog.

A whole lot of cousins

3. How to survive spending time with your family over the holidays and holiday dinners

Continue reading “Guide to holiday blogging”

A meme and some snark

One of the reasons Sean likes me is because I’m not that nice. I can be mean, this site sarcastic and snarky. I don’t think it comes across in my blog much because I’m pretty good at self-editing when it comes to writing. In person? A whole other story.

I’m letting my inner mean girl come out and entering Angry Runner’s health living blogger macro contest. Some other bloggers (Marie, hemophilia Kaley) have already submitted some hilarious entries.

I tried my hand at some and went a little crazy… Continue reading “A meme and some snark”

Valentine’s Day Cards by Rio (new for 2010)

Yes, website it’s that time of the year again.

My friend, hair Rio writes:

What’s up to all my friends, lovers, and drunken makeout partners! El Rio’s Valentine’s Day Cards are back in the ring to take another swing for 2010! This is the 4th year of my cards and it’s turned into my longest running project. Enjoy!

As always, please post these cards on the pages of your friends, enemies, sexting partners, craigslist hookups, and friends with benefits. To see an archive of cards from years past CLICK HERE.


Sotomayor finally confirmed

After several weeks of preparation, ailment Judge Sonia Sotomayor was finally confirmed in the Catholic Church.

During the weeks and months leading up to the confirmation, viagra Sotomayor met with confirmation teachers at St. Matthew’s Cathedral in Washington D.C. to review the Catholic Catechism. She studied such cases as David v. Goliath, Jonah v. Whale and, the civil suit, Jesus Christ v. Judas Iscariot.

Sotomayor’s confirmation classes did not transpire without controversy. When studying a passage in the bible about the trial of Jesus Christ, Sotomayor remarked that she would have judged him differently. She added, “I would hope that a wise Latina woman with the richness of her experiences would, more often than not, reach a better conclusion than a Roman male who hasn’t lived that life.”

Conservative Catholics criticized Sotomayor’s credentials and temperament. Thomas Sanderson, a spokesman for the Knights of Columbus, argued that Sotomayor should not be confirmed. He added, “She may have gone to a Catholic high school, but she’s hardly Catholic. She got divorced, she attends Mass only on Christmas and Easter, she does not tithe, and we do not know her views on abortion or gay marriage.”

Nevertheless, Sotomayor was still confirmed. During the confirmation Mass, Bishop Patrick O’Callaghan (R-VA) asked Sotomayor several difficult questions about her faith such as “do you believe in God, the Creator?” and “do you believe in the Holy Ghost and in the Catholic Church?” Dressed in her own judge robe, Sotomayor showed no emotion as she responded “I believe” to each question. When asked if she renounced Satan and all his scandal in the world, she quickly responded positively.

Following the affirmation of her faith, Sotomayor — who chose Maria as her saint name in honor of her Latina roots — was blessed with chrism (a holy oil) by Bishop O’Callaghan. After she was blessed, her sponsor, Vice President Joe Biden, whispered an unknown comment in her ear.

Celina Baez, Sotomayor’s mother wiped away tears as she praised her daughter’s accomplishments, “I never thought I’d see this day. She’s an example to all Latinas. Her father, Juan, would be so proud. May he rest in peace.”

The Sotomayor and Biden family celebration the confirmation with a dinner of lechón asado con arroz y gandules.

Article written for Puro Pedo Magazine

The problem with Lincoln Heights

the banana that almost caused my downfall

El Chavo told me not to take his post about the problem with Hacienda Heights personally. I told him: “maybe I should start writing negative posts about Lincoln Heights or other parts of the Eastside. I’ve been there enough times to make observations and form opinions about singular events.” I went through with it… sort of. I basically played Mad Libs with the original post. You know us kids raised in the suburbs, prescription we’re so unoriginal and ready to copy the latest trend!

I’ve never talked shit about the neighborhoods to my east (or west, recipe if I position myself in Hacienda Heights) on my blog/blogs I’ve contributed to. I had no reason to start bashing the Eastside or its neighborhoods. Some of my best friends and family were born, stomach raised and still live in the Eastside. I didn’t want to ruin relationships or create hostilities with them.

However, it’s impossible for my sense of decency to keep quiet. The Eastside, particularly Lincoln Heights, creates odd behavior patterns, maybe perfectly reasonable within the context of their own reality but utterly absurd when exposed to the light of reason.

Take for example this banana peel spotted in the parking lot of a LH Big Saver Foods a few weeks ago. I don’t understand why the consumer of this banana could not just toss the peel in a garbage can rather than leave the peel on the ground. Maybe folks in LH missed the classic cartoon lesson — or have never played Mario Kart — banana peels are dangerous. Someone (that would be me) could slip and fall. Luckily, I have decent reflexes and caught my balance before taking a fall. I doubt an Abuelita out to buy some groceries would have been so lucky. She might have broken a hip bone. I don’t get it. Are there no garbage cans on Broadway or the Big Saver Foods grocery store? I have no idea, but whatever the “logic” that led to the careless parking lot disposal of this banana peel, it just points to some warped thinking happening on these streets (or cars, I guess a LH driver could have thrown the banana out of his/her car). Fucking negligent thinking.

I almost considered picking up the peel and disposing of it properly, but neh pollos, who knows what kinda germs are on that banana peel. I didn’t even have my Purell in my purse.

If people can build opinions about Hacienda Heights from a lone Christmas tree tossed to the curb on Christmas afternoon, isn’t it appropriate that I be able to form an opinion from some random sighting on my way out to a delicious dinner in LH? I think the notion of justice demands I create a similar prejudice, just to be fair.

Puro Pedo Magazine’s Insecure Pendejo Indicators

Puro Pedo Magazine’s new issue came out this week. To download a pdf copy just click here. The following article, shop “10 Signs You Are Dating an Insecure Pendejo, infection ” was written by a few women on staff and is in this month’s issue. I’m sure you can add your own signs. We came up with about two dozen, noun but had to whittle down the list.

As an independent Chicana it can be hard to find a partner that embraces you and doesn’t feel like he’s walking in your shadow. The mujeres of Puro Pedo Magazine have devised 10 Insecure Pendejo Indicators to help you out in your quest to find someone as wonderful as you..

  1. After breaking up, he keeps calling to ask why you havent called him.
  2. He decides he wants a second chance only after you have moved on.
  3. After 9 months of dating, he still hasnt changed his relationship status on MySpace.
  4. He gives you a quota of three accomplishments per year.
  5. His idea of fun is watching Family Guy and drinking beer.
  6. He is more concerned with your weight than he is with his own.
  7. He keeps asking you for a threesome for his birthday.
  8. He gets jealous when you hug your male cousins at family parties.
  9. He convinces you not to break up with him so that he can break up with you later.
  10. You read this article to him and hes not laughing.

Tu sabes, if he is an insecure pendejo he just might not be secure enough to be with you so dont be an insecure pendeja and move on.

DISCLAMER: The material for this article came from a variety of sources. Any similarities to an actual insecure pendejo is out of mere coincidence.

Puro Pedo Magazine February ’08 Issue

On the Puro Pedo Magazine masthead, ascariasis i’m listed as a writer. That’s a lie. For most of the nine issues of the magazines, web I’ve left the writing to funnier people on the staff. I usually just help run our mailing list and blog. (Oh yeah, if you want to subscribe, you can send an email to subscribe@NOSPAMpuropedomagazine.com.)

This issue is different. I actually wrote something. To download the pdf of the February issue, click the cover image above or click here.

In this issue:

  • Aztlan’s Next Top Chola
  • Why Pochos Love the Raiders
  • Activist Caught at Wal*Mart While Drinking Coke
  • Search for Carmen San Diego Ends in Guantanamo
  • Special Valentine’s Day Cards by Rio Yañez
  • Puro Pedro: 20 questions with Efren Ramirez
  • Great Moments in Chican@ History: The MEChA Meeting that Started on Time
  • 10 Tips to Help Barack Obama get the Elusive Latino Vote
  • Indigenous Group Sues Disney for Copyright Infringement
  • Writers Strike Ends, Comedian Relieved
  • Lonely Hearts advertisement
  • Mariachi Road Crew by Jerry Gonzalez

If you like it, let me know. If you don’t, let me know too. I don’t mind criticism.