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May 10, 2008

Puro Pedo Magazine’s Insecure Pendejo Indicators

Puro Pedo Magazine’s new issue came out this week. To download a pdf copy just click here. The following article, “10 Signs You Are Dating an Insecure Pendejo,” was written by a few women on staff and is in this month’s issue. I’m sure you can add your own signs. We came up with about two dozen, but had to whittle down the list.

As an independent Chicana it can be hard to find a partner that embraces you and doesn’t feel like he’s walking in your shadow. The mujeres of Puro Pedo Magazine have devised 10 Insecure Pendejo Indicators to help you out in your quest to find someone as wonderful as you..

  1. After breaking up, he keeps calling to ask why you havent called him.
  2. He decides he wants a second chance only after you have moved on.
  3. After 9 months of dating, he still hasnt changed his relationship status on MySpace.
  4. He gives you a quota of three accomplishments per year.
  5. His idea of fun is watching Family Guy and drinking beer.
  6. He is more concerned with your weight than he is with his own.
  7. He keeps asking you for a threesome for his birthday.
  8. He gets jealous when you hug your male cousins at family parties.
  9. He convinces you not to break up with him so that he can break up with you later.
  10. You read this article to him and hes not laughing.

Tu sabes, if he is an insecure pendejo he just might not be secure enough to be with you so dont be an insecure pendeja and move on.

DISCLAMER: The material for this article came from a variety of sources. Any similarities to an actual insecure pendejo is out of mere coincidence.

Filed under: Payasadas | POSTED BY cindylu AT 12:28 am | 6 Comments

February 15, 2008

No, You Can’t

Hey look, it’s HP’s people.

I love parodies. This one was edited by a friend of a friend. He’s the dude on the right in this photo.

Filed under: Payasadas | POSTED BY cindylu AT 5:43 pm | 9 Comments

February 12, 2008

Valentine’s Day Cards by Rio (new for ‘08)

I don’t have a Valentine this year which means I don’t have to worry about finding the perfect card and gift. And I also don’t have to pretend to like some gift that will just collect dust in the corner. (No, I’m not bitter. Really.)

But Valentine’s Day isn’t only for those in relationships. Single folks can celebrate like we did in elementary school: by passing out silly cards, drinking punch and eating heart-shaped sugar cookies.

This year, I’ll pass out Rio Yañez’s great cards once again. Rio’s new set of cards feature dramatic duos like Biggie and Tupac, Frida and Diego, and Dylan and Brenda as well as some iconic figures.

Rio encourages you to share the cards with “your friends, enemies, shorties, sanchos, and booty calls.” Just make sure they’ll appreciate the genius of a card featuring Antonio Gonzalez declaring that he’d “lie under oath for you.”

To check out more of the new cards and some from Valentine’s Day 2007, go to the flickr set, Rio’s blog or click the image above.

Filed under: Payasadas | POSTED BY cindylu AT 1:00 am | 6 Comments

October 26, 2007

Halloween on a budget: Vendedor de Flores

One of my favorite episodes of Gilmore Girls, at least aesthetically, is the episode where the whole town takes part in the Festival of Living Art. In the episode, the town characters portray famous paintings like “The Last Supper” in full costume, but must stand perfectly still.

This episode, along with the requisite Diego Rivera print or two hanging in my apartment inspired another low-budget costume.

Vendedor de Flores

There are two different paintings you could use for inspiration (see above): “Vendedor de Alcatraces” and “Cargador de Flores.”

Here’s how you do it:

The only downsides of this costume is that you may have to be on your knees a lot for the full effect or the basket of flowers might get annoying.

Bonus: You can use the flowers to flirt with a cute guy or girl at a party.

Filed under: Payasadas | POSTED BY cindylu AT 12:18 pm | 3 Comments

October 24, 2007

Halloween on a budget: Oscar de la Hoya

“Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it.”
- Cady in Mean Girls

While checking out the recent launch of Machochip (go read it, Alex is one of the editors!), I was reminded about a costume rooted in escándalo I’ve yet to blog about: Oscar “Golden Boy” de la Hoya.

Earlier this fall, photos of the golden boy surfaced all over the gossip blogs. They were a bit embarrassing. I mean, if you consider wearing women’s lingerie and posing like a boxer embarrassing. Still, they’re hilarious, and a great Halloween costume for the man eager for an excuse to dress in drag, the straight guy comfortable with his sexuality and who can walk in stilettos, or the woman who just wants to dress “like a total slut.”

Oscar de la Hoya

If you’re worried about getting cold, get a boxing robe.

For some inspiration… go here, but not while you’re at work!

Filed under: Payasadas | POSTED BY cindylu AT 6:00 pm | 4 Comments

Halloween on a budget: El Chapulín Colorado

Why dress up as a boring superhero when you can be a red grasshopper? I realized afterward that putting together a Chapulín Colorado costume may not be as low budget or low effort as some of the other suggestions. Who actually has red tights lying around? Also, I realized that if LA stays as warm as it’s been for the Halloween parties this weekend and Halloween next week, it might be too warm to dress up as el Chapulín Colorado.

El disfraz:

Since I already have the antennae, shirt, and shoes, I think I’m gonna dress up next Wednesday as el Chapulín Colorado (or la Chapulina Colorada?) in disguise, kinda like guys who wear Superman shirts under their suits and go as Clark Kent. I have another costume I’m working on, but I wouldn’t wear it to school/work.

Center photo by /Nathan Gibbs (blog) used under Creative Commons license.

Filed under: Payasadas | POSTED BY cindylu AT 10:37 am | 1 Comment

October 20, 2007

Halloween on a budget: Cantinflas

Most of the low-budget costume ideas I’ve written about have been geared toward women (or men who want to dress in drag). Here’s one for the guys: the Mexican comedic genius of Mario Moreno’s immortal character, Cantinflas.

What you’ll need for the costume:

  1. Small, beat up hat
  2. White thermal or henley shirt
  3. Red bandanna
  4. Old belt or even some twine to hold up your pants
  5. Loose, dirty and tattered pants (brown, beige or blue); make sure to wear them low
  6. Beat up old shoes
  7. Cigarette
  8. Scruffy facial hair, but make sure you get the moustache right
  9. Brown scrap of fabric to hang over your left shoulder (tie it in a knot or two)

I’m not sure where you’ll find a small hat, but you can always try a second hand store.

If you need inspiration to see how he speaks, walks or acts check out YouTube videos.

Photo by thevid used under Creative Commons license.

Filed under: Payasadas | POSTED BY cindylu AT 4:15 pm | 3 Comments

October 19, 2007

Halloween on a budget: Antonio & Mirthala

Antonio & Mirthala

Current events (and scandals!) are always ripe sources for Halloween costumes. As a native of LA, I’m much more interested in what the mayor is doing to improve this city rather than who he’s sleeping with. Still, if you want a risqué couples costume with limited effort (and cost), why not be Antonio Villaraigosa and his girlfriend, former Telemundo political reporter, Mirthala Salinas?

Here’s how to do it:

For Villaraigosa:

For Salinas:

That’s it.

Other things you might want to think about: add a nametag since two people in suits isn’t much of a costume. You can make this a threesome by having a friend dress up Corina Villaraigosa, the mayor’s ex-wife.

Bonus: hide from immigrants’ rights activists at the party or carry around plans for reforming LAUSD in your pocket.

Next up in the low-budget costume series: Cantinflas

Filed under: Payasadas | POSTED BY cindylu AT 11:44 am | 9 Comments

October 18, 2007

Halloween on a budget: Scarecrow

One year for Halloween, my cousin Victor called my mom asking for help to put together a costume. My mom suggested her patented scarecrow costume. It was easy to put together, you’d be sure not to look like the rest of the kids at your school, and you’d be a favorite of the costume contest judges. Victor won an award that year.

Since then my mom, Lori and I have all dressed up as scarecrows. I know there are plenty of ways to put together such a costume, but I’ll stick to the Mosqueda-style scarecrow and add a few pointers on ways to make it a little less PG-13, scarier or cuter.

What you need:

  1. Straw hat; the more beat-up, the better. We had some straw hats from the father/daughter dance in Girl Scouts. I believe the theme for the dance was line dancing.
  2. Jeans or overalls. We always used jeans since we didn’t have overalls.
  3. Flannel or denim. As you can see, we chose flannel. It’ll keep you a little warmer on a cool night out trick-or-treating.
  4. Scraps of fabric with different patterns. These will be the patches you’ll sew on to your jeans and shirt.
  5. Strips of fabric about 3/4 of an inch thick.
  6. Corn husks for tamales. Sew (or glue, tape, staple) strips of the dried corn husks on to the strips of fabric. Sew the strips to the cuffs of your jeans, collar and cuff of your shirt. You’ll want to make it look like the corn husk stuffing for the scarecrow is coming out of the hat and the patches (see photo). And yeah, straw would be more authentic, but using corn husks is more rascuache.
  7. Orange fabric for a jack-o-lantern mask (optional). You can also try a burlap sack as a mask.
  8. Old-looking shoes.

To make your scarecrow gory, just add some fake blood or carry a bloody prop knife. We all know scarecrows can be pretty creepy.

If you want to show some skin and try a more adult look, opt for a short denim skirt or shorts instead of pants. Wear colorful or striped stockings.

Finally, to make your scarecrow cute, you can add some cute face paint (draw on nose, rosy cheeks) or makeup. I skipped the makeup last time I did the scarecrow costume for Halloween ‘98, but I still got a compliment from a UCLA cheerleader. That was pretty cool.

Next up in the low-budget costume series: philandering politician and mistress (hmmm, I wonder who that may be).

Filed under: Payasadas | POSTED BY cindylu AT 11:47 pm | No Comments

Halloween on a budget: La Adelita

La Adelita Adrian as Pancho Villa

For Halloween 2001, I dressed up as La Adelita, or a soldadera. An Adelita was a woman soldier who did things like cook and care for wounded as well as fight in the battles of the Mexican Revolution.

After searching online for photos/artistic renditions of soldaderas, I got some inspiration and started to put together my low-budget costume. Here’s what you need (and where I found my stuff):

  1. White ruffled Mexican blouse (you know, the kind waitresses at Mexican restaurants often wear). I found my blouse in the closet where my mom keeps all of our old folklórico trajes (costumes).
  2. Full-length skirt. I borrowed my flower-patterned skirt from my tía Luisa since the “peasant skirt” wasn’t in fashion yet.
  3. Boots. I borrowed ankle-length boots from my mom or tía Luisa. I can’t remember, it was a long time ago.
  4. Rebozo (shawl). I used a rebozo we had stored away with our folklórico costumes.
  5. Bandolier (bullet belt). I bought mine at a costume shop in Westwood. I’ve seen these on sale for $6.99 online.
  6. Dangly gold earrings. Once again, borrowed from my aunt or mom.
  7. Doll of a Mexican baby (optional). I borrowed this from my roommate.
  8. Morral (a woven Mexican bag). Even though you’re dressed as someone in 1910, you still need something to carry around your car keys and lip gloss.

The only cost associated with this costume was buying the bandolier. I braided my hair in two braids rather than leave it long and flowing in the wind as in this painting. I didn’t wear a hat, but you could add a large straw hat to the outfit. You can make the costume PG-13 by wearing the blouse off the shoulder. It’s only PG-13 since your skirt will still be miles longer than the skirts of your fellow female party-goers.

To make this a couples costume, you can have your date go as Pancho Villa or Emiliano Zapata. Last year, my younger brother dressed up as Pancho Villa. He called himself Pancho Vanilla, silly boy.

Now aren’t these costumes of historic Mexican figures much better than these tacky costumes of “Mexicans”?

Next up in the low-budget costume series: scarecrow.

Filed under: Payasadas | POSTED BY cindylu AT 12:29 am | 2 Comments

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